Of a Situation Comedy Nature

I really like this section. I’m not sure why:

Eli: I need to do something.
Jonathan: Like work out?
Frank: Yeah, you seem stressed.
Eli: I am.
Frank: Have you been masturbating?
Eli: No!
Frank: Start masturbating.

But, like all guys, They just didn’t understand. Although they did give me some good advice.

Cartoon Frank: Aw, that’s just sick.
Cartoon Eli: No, I mean the working out part.
Cartoon Jonathan: Yeah, the forearm part.
Real Jonathan: (staring at Eli who looks zoned out) Doesn’t he look a bit odd to you?
Frank: You would be too, if you weren’t masturbating.
Eli: (zoned out) No, I mean the working out part.
Jonathan: He looks a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket.
Frank: He definitely needs a girlfriend.
Eli: (still zoned out) Forearm? That’s a terrible way to do it.
Jonathan: Nah, I’m pretty sure he’s gay.
Frank: What? He’s not gay, he really likes Beatrice… or Pugelance or someone.
Jonathan: You know, I’m pretty sure you’re gay.
Frank: Not a chance, Jack.
Jonathan: Fine, Bi then.
Frank: But I get the fashion sense, the physique, and the general attractiveness to women.
Jonathan: Alright, but you also bleep their gaydar.
Frank: It’s a deal.
Eli: (still zoned out) And this way, you’ll improve your efficiency 66 percent.

|